Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
