Moan for me like Helen Keller
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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