HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
