it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
