You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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