once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize