she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
