fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
