he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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