i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I FOUND THE LEGS
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