I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
