dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize