I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
