South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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