Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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