Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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