her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if only i could text you this smell
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize