Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
