there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
