she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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