Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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