Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
