During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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