so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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