Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
