So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize