erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
