I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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