I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
