I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
