ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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