nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
