Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
