He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
