So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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