I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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