I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
