in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
