Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize