people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
