So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
