I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
