she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
