I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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