I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
