I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize