Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
