I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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