It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just cropdusted the office
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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