Sry I called you an 8
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Found the puke drawer
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
