I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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