what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
