I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
