Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
