Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
