I have demons in me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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