I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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