We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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