Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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