Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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