The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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